Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A year...

It's a year today Josh had his accident.

In many ways, time has dragged.  And it has flown by.

Some families who's child survives a near-drowning apparently celebrate it.  They choose to remember the day of the ND as a kind of re-birthing, when their "new" child joined their family.  I acknowledge that the old Josh is forever gone, but I cant exactly celebrate this version of him.  Without doubt, I am grateful Josh is still with us, however I would obviously choose a different, much more engaging and fulfilling life than this for him.

Having said that, you do what you need to, to get through each day, each week, each month.  If celebrating the arrival of a different same child is what a particular family needs to do, I certainly don't condemn that.  Its simply not how I choose to remember today.

I have kept busy and have purposely kept the lingering thoughts that are always on the outer edges of my mind, away.  But obviously I live with reminders everyday. 

Toward the end of the day, I did light a special candle, and my 2 big girls and I had a little cuddle, and they gave Josh an extra kiss and had a little chat, but it felt unnatural. Forced. As if we had to do something.

Yes, today is somewhat harder, because what happened is reinforced, but mostly for me, today is simply a date, and another cross on my calendar to note we got through.

Thank you to every one who called and / or and left messages. x

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you. x NJ

Copyright 2009 Joshua