Tuesday, September 1, 2009


I still cant look through photos, and certainly wouldn't even attempt to watch a home video where I think I may see Josh... It's kinda ironic, 'cause I love scrapbooking and used to have an online shop (which I officially closed a few months ago), and obviously, most scrapbooking is done using photos and memorabilia. I wonder if Ill ever be able to scrapbook again. Ive heard it can be therapeutic, but I know I'm not ready to "go there". Yet.

I have 3 framed photos taken of my girls, from when they attended a Sibling Camp through Bear Cottage a few months back. Gorgeous pics. I put them on display on my cabinet. Of course, I wanted pics of my boys too. I bought a frame today, and, after some procrastination, I had a look through some pics I'd had developed at the beginning of the year.

It broke me, as I knew it would.

And then, when the dam burst, I couldn't stop. I rocked on the floor for 15 minutes. Well, really, I don't know how long I was there, but it was really hard. I chose a photo, put it in the frame, and don't know when Ill be able to look at it properly...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Wendy, I know exactly what you are saying about looking at pics from before and scrapbooking them. When we were still in hospital my scrapbooking friends came over for the day with all the gear and as we were staying at Ronald McDonald House we spread out on the table and scrapped for a couple of hours. Ashleigh's accident was 1 month after her 3rd birthday and I had dozens of pics that I hadn't scrapped. I cried and cried while I did some of them and laughed and smiled at others and as I journaled on the pages it somehow helped me. Then of course all the pics since then have been post accident, but I have used my scrapbooking to try and keep the family chronicle going like before, only this time we have a new journey to chronicle too. I also started to get creative with my photography and do black and white and sepia which sort of helped me highlight the things about Ashleigh that were still the same instead of highlighting the differences. I don't know if that made sense but thats how I got through it. I still get teary 3 1/2 years later when I look back at the "Pre accident" scrapbook albums but it also reminds me of the good things too. Also it highlights to me how much more devasted I would still be now if she had died that day instead.
I am always thinking of you guys.


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